Dear Tourists:

Dear San Francisco Tourists,

Thank you for visiting our city and celebrating San Francisco's beautiful views and sites. Thank you for spending money in our very expensive city & thank you for entertaining us locals when you wear summer clothes out on foggy days & high heels on steep hills - it's really cute!

But please do one thing for us local cyclists: DON'T ABRUPTLY FUCKING STOP ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE BLOCKING TRAFFIC ON BOTH SIDES TO TAKE A GODDAMN PICTURE CAUSING MAJOR ACCIDENTS BEHIND YOU. I do not curse and scream at you as I pass, because, I'm mad I can't go fast nor do I feel above you because you rented a Blazing Saddles bike and I'm on my sweet Caad 9. I curse & scream at you like an L.A. driver because one, you almost just killed me, and two, you still have potential to kill others. I understand you're visiting and want pictures of the bridge, headlands, Alcatraz, Angel Island, but can you do this safely and please stop jeopardizing the lives of others? Is that a lot to ask for?

It's really quite simple to practice bicycle safety --- just apply the same rules you would to driving to while you're riding. Would you ever turn into another lane with out looking on the high way? Stop short on a busy street with no warning? Park in the middle of the road? No... you wouldn't, so don't do it on our bike highways.

Thanks in Advance,

Pretty much the entire fucking bay area cycling community

P.S. If you can't make it up Fort Mason - seriously, why are you attempting Golden Gate?